The thing that made me start this journey is probably a bit different from everyone else. And this post is going to be long…
I’ve never had a “real” job.
I worked in a movie theater very briefly (read: 1 week) in high school, but I quit after a few shifts.
You see, I started as the person who tore the tickets at the door and there were a couple of instances where I was really uncomfortable. For one, a man touched the small of back and leaned in a bit too close to let me know he was going outside to have a smoke and would need to be let in. And another? Some creep was definitely taking pictures of me on his camera phone.
Can’t deal. So I quit. I’m not a quitter and that was a hard decision for me.
Fast forward to college. I decide to declare my major: accounting. Because I reason I can easily get a job in that field once I graduate. Not because I had a passion for it.
My passion? Kids. I wanted to be a teacher, but my dad said he wouldn’t help me with college if I chose the teaching path. So I was afraid, I shrunk, and I chose something I didn’t love.
Little did I know that my dad wouldn’t even be in the picture the following year. My step-mom kicked me out of the house because I “wouldn’t get a job” over the summer while my dad was telling me the whole time he didn’t want me to have a job. Apparently, he didn’t inform her and quietly stepped aside and let her kick me out.
While all of this is happening, I’m falling in love with my now husband and dreaming of our life together. I continue my college education. Did great in my courses and was liking it well enough. I didn’t have a passion for it, though. But still, I imagined that I would get a job when I graduated and make a decent living.
And then everything changes.
Just a few short months before our wedding, I find out I’m pregnant. Funny story, I actually had a wedding dress fitting and found the dress of my dreams while pregnant but didn’t know (or even suspect) that a baby was growing inside of me.
I see that + sign and all at once am hit with a wall of emotions.
Excitement, love, fear…
Then I looked around me. I now needed to factor a baby into my plans. How would that work? I’d finish my degree while being a mom and then spend countless hours away from my baby while I worked in a job that I didn’t even have a passion for?
You see, I wanted to pour every ounce of love I had into this baby.
I knew from the very moment he was mine that I loved him. And I was determined that he would know it too. He’d never question his worth. He’d never feel less than or unimportant. He’d never wonder if I wanted him. He’d never feel anything but love and safety in my arms.
Why was this so important to me?
Because I never felt that. I never knew what that was like. I was born to a mother who didn’t want me and made me feel it every day of my life until she was finally able to get rid of me at the tender age of 14.
I never felt a sense of belonging. Safety. I never felt her love or her warmth for me. She waited until a month before she died from a battle with cancer to tell me that she was sorry for it all and that she really loved me. I was 23 years old when she took her last breath.
For 23 years, I just felt like a burden and all I ever wanted was to be loved.
That positive pregnancy test was my defining moment. It wasn’t a job that I hated or the dream of traveling the world.
It was motherhood.
And it was my dream come true.
So I started my business as a freelance writer picking up any jobs I could to help my husband (who was also a college student) pay our bills and prepare for our little one’s arrival.
My business has transformed from that freelance writer role (even though I still take contract jobs) into a full copywriting business that I absolutely love.
And while my business was growing, so was my family.
2 boys and 1 girl.
The products of real love.
And I don’t let a day pass without grabbing onto those babies and holding on tight. I say I love you, I’m proud of you, and I’m glad you’re here.
But what I really mean is you’re my whole world.
You put that broken 20 year old back together and filled in all the gaps with every smile, every sweet baby kiss, and every “mama” you uttered.
They will never live a single moment doubting my love for them.
That’s worth the stresses of running my own business, the balancing act that I have to do on a daily basis, and even those nights when I have to stay up until 3 AM to meet a deadline.
I build my brand around that same love. My website is warm and inviting. I take care of my clients and make sure they feel important. I help them shine a little brighter and attract clients so that they too can share their love with the world.